Practicing Gratitude

As we head into a time of holidays, food, and family, it's time to remind myself what I'm grateful for

My wife Wendy adopted a practice of gratitude during a time when she was afraid. She feared a job layoff after budget cuts and tried to figure out a way to calm herself. She found that expressing gratefulness for the good she had in her life made all the difference. She says it transformed her. It not only reduced her anxiety, but also increased her generosity. Yes, it increased her generosity.

Wendy and me earlier this year at a Pride celebration

Out of her gratefulness practice, Wendy developed a lifetime giving goal. She regularly tracks how much she gives away. She records formal gifts to tax-exempt organizations and informal gifts to individuals in need. She tracks it all and then expresses thanks to the universe that she’s able to give. It’s a full circle of gratitude.

Wendy’s the most grateful person I’ve ever known. I’m grateful she’s in my life.

I’ve adopted some of her practices. I don’t have a lifetime giving goal (yet), but I do review the things I’m grateful for at the end of most days. I think about gratefulness when I’m driving. And when I reach my destination, I remind myself to say thanks to people in my life—for being who they are and who’ve they’ve been in my life.

When I found myself dealing with a third cancer diagnosis earlier this year, I tried to focus as much attention as I could on things that I was grateful for. I know it helped me get through it.

Thank YOU!

I’m especially grateful to all of you. You’ve given me more than you’ll ever know by reading my work. Unless you’re a writer, it’s hard to understand what a gift that is. I’m a breath away from 200 subscribers. Two hundred people may not seem like a lot to some, but an average self-published author can only expect to sell 250 copies of their book, so in that context 200 is a lot. And it’s especially a lot to me because each of you makes my commitment to writing feel worthwhile. Thank you for that.

If you write a comment, send an email response, or share one of my newsletters with someone else, I feel especially blessed. It’s like you’ve given me a super shot of endorphins! Thank you especially for engaging and letting me know how my writing has touched you (or has missed the mark)!

Thank you, Veterans!

This weekend, as our country celebrates Veterans Day, I want to take a minute thank our veterans. As a peace activist, I have a complicated relationship with the military. I recognize, however, that service to one’s country is important and valuable, even if I disagree with the practice of war. I recognize that many of the freedoms I enjoy have been and are being protected by people who serve in the military.

My dad served in the Navy in World War II as a Seabee. My brother graduated from the Naval Academy and served a full naval career. I’m grateful to both of them.

My brother, Jarrett, and my dad, Norman, and his mother, Anne

What are you grateful for?

Over the next couple of weeks, I encourage you to think about who and what you’re grateful for.

• Who are the people in your life who matter?

• What are the things you enjoy and have opportunities to engage in?  

• What else are you grateful for? The place you live, your home, the birds, your brain…

As you think about these questions, you might even want to make a list. Tape it to your refrigerator or bathroom mirror or take it with you in your car. Then review it whenever you’re feeling down. I guarantee you it will make a difference, just like it did when Wendy was feeling afraid, and as it has to me as I’ve worked to get my health back on track.

Gratitude matters. Practicing gratitude makes us better at expressing it. Becoming better at gratitude changes our lives. I invite you to share your experiences with gratitude so we can all benefit from your wisdom.

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