Not all mentees apply all the lessons of their mentors
Not all mentees apply all the lessons of their mentors
Carol treats her body like a sacred vessel.
When Carol graduated from college, I handed her a rose, and she passed me a candle, symbols of gratitude and responsibility exchanged between us in our college’s Torch and Rose Ceremony. I never knew my biological big sister, Marlee, so, it was a great honor when Carol chose me as her symbolic little sister. In many ways, I idolized her. She had a comfort with her body, a confidence in her stride, and a commitment to her faith that inspired and encouraged me.
Carol played center on our basketball team, another of our Siena Height’s Saints. She towered over most of us, so when she extended her arms high above her head, everyone knew she would catch any ball we threw to her. We also knew that, rather than take the selfish shot, Carol would pass the ball for the assist. She loved seeing others succeed just as much as she enjoyed succeeding herself.
Calm, steady, with a sense of humor and vitality that just didn’t quit, Carol could run circles around me in so many ways. But, even when I screwed up, she never let me feel inadequate. She was my cheerleader and trusted friend, my mentor and my standard. Even today, whenever I need a confidence boost, I hear Carol’s insistent voice shouting from the sidelines, “Come on, Annette, you can do it!”
After college, Carol became an ER nurse, a career-choice that never surprised me. Whether on the basketball court or the emergency room, Carol is someone who loves to be at the center of the action where her body, brain, and spirit are fully engaged.
A Detroit-based monthly book club, we called Breakfast and Books, kept Carol and I connected into the 1990s. Breakfast and Books more closely resembled the iconic feminist group, “The Ladies' Sewing Circle and Terrorist Society," than it did a typical women’s book club. Although we sometimes talked about the books we had selected to read, we spent considerably more time discussing and organizing around current political and social justice issues of the day. Carol always brought insight and compassion into our conversations, and we counted on her to make a wise crack when the mood hung too heavy over the room.
Guided by her deep faith, Carol and her wife have been together for over forty-five years. That, in and of itself, demonstrates Carol’s faithfulness and persistence. No matter what, Carol is someone who doesn’t give up or give in.
Whether playing basketball, riding horses, running, biking, or playing guitar and singing, Carol continues to have a deep comfort with and respect for her body. Her Facebook profile aptly illustrates the Carol I remember from college days. She writes, “Fitness is a part of every day. My body is a machine, and it needs clean fuel.”
I wish I could say that I followed Carol’s example about self-care. Regrettably, not all mentees apply the lessons of their mentors, even the accidental ones. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I do pretty well. Physically, not so much. That doesn’t stop me, though, from looking to Carol for inspiration whenever I focus my attention on getting and staying in shape. And I will always treasure having a “big sister” at a time when I especially needed a role model to look up to.
